the test

it's just me, screwed things up unintentionally.

screwed a friendship, living in hardship, having to get over something that is out of my beyond.

dear ALLAH, what is this? a test? a courage test to prove that i am the only person who manage to go through the hardship?

dear ALLAH, i'm no angel, i'm nothing, i'm only a stupid, naive human being.

dear ALLAH, do provide me with extra strength.

ameen.

i cried, for the first time after a year. yes.

somehow, tears started to drop. without my approval.

but i just can't help it. it's just how i release the tense and sorrow in my heart.

the worst part is, i can't believe the almost 5-years friendship tie, had gone by the wind.

leaving me nothing. i'm left alone.

at the moment when i started to need the person. who gave me false hopes!

which had vanished my spirits. they're are all gone.

leaving me behind..alone.

nothing.

nothing.

shit.

i hate the hardship i have to go through.

but the memories remain memories.

which, again, give me tears.

oh ALLAH.

allow me to have my prayer first.